Wednesday, September 28, 2005

The O'Reilly Quacker

Bill O'Reilly is truly a strange little man. Take a gander at the below exchange between Mr. Sensational and an attorney from the ACLU. They were discussing a law in New York city which forbids any childless-adult to sit on a park bench if that bench is within certain proximity of a playground.
O'Reilly: Explain yourself.
ACLU Guy: This law is silly.
O'Reilly: Do you know that it is intended to protect children from pedophiles?
ACLU Guy: So? It's still a dumb law. And the punishment is excessive.
O'Reilly: Why would you make it easier for pedophiles to find children to satisfy their sick, sadistic urges?
ACLU Guy: I wouldn't. I just think this law is ill---
O'Reilly: Where in the Constitution does it say you have the right to sit on a park bench?
ACLU Guy: Well it doesn't explicitly....
O'Reilly: Quote it for me, Mr. Civil Libertarian. Give me the Article and Section. Give me the Amendment. Read it back to me.
ACLU Guy: The Constitution doesn't have to lay out all of your rights in order for them to be....
O'Reilly: So it isn't in there, is it?
ACLU Guy: Well no, not explicitly. But as I was saying, it doesn't need....
O'Reilly: I think I've proven my point. You know who'd love for this law to be repealed? NAMBLA. That's the North American Man-Boy Love Association. Man-boy love. Men on boys. Men loving boys. Or, as you might put it, defending their "right" to love boys. You've probably heard of them. Your organization has defended them. Do you want NAMBLA members hanging out on our playgrounds, scoping out grade school kids to have sex with? Do you want to help NAMBLA? NAMBLA, NAMBLA, NAMBLA! I'll give you the last word. NAMBLA.
ACLU Guy: I think people should be able to sit on public benches when they're tired, regardless of whether or not they have children. Also, many pedophiles have children themselves. This law would do nothing to stop them. There's also probably an equal protection problem, here.
O'Reilly: I don't know much about your fancy lawyering words, sir. But I do know that our children need protection from pedophiles, sickos, and perverts. And NAMBLA. And you, sir, have put yourself on the wrong side. NAMBLA. Also, NAMBLA.
ACLU Guy: I haven't put myself on any....
O'Reilly: NAMBLA. Banana-nana-fo-FAMBLA.
ACLU Guy: I thought I was going to get the last word?
O'Reilly: NAMBLA.
Hero of the Right? Heh. Two words -- "Male Oprah." Tip to The Agitator. Story here.