Friday, November 11, 2005

NPR Syndrome

Man, those collectivist chumps can get me going in the morning. While I only heard two stories during my 16 minute pleasure cruise into the office today, both of them offer quite a bit of insight into the ideological slant of our tax-subsidized buddies at National Propaganda Radio.
The first was a touching little biological-sociological-business piece concerning humans, our links to chimpanzees and what we can learn about human-social organization and business productivity from our distant relatives in evolution. Well, to sum up the piece, please allow me to loosely quote the journalist: (in that airy tone of a Harvard biologist with a fake British accent) "like the chimpanzee, rather than rugged individualists, we [humans] are actually social animals who depend upon one another tremendously to produce, progress and survive." Well thank you, sir. Yes, I agree, the division of labor is pretty freakin great, but don't jump to such hasty conclusions simply because you prefer Rousseau over Rand. Being a vegetarian, I can look at the eating habits of gorillas and suggest that we should not eat meat. That being said, in pursuit of intellectual integrity, I think we should all strive to be conscientious enough not to read our personal ideology and policy preferences into our test subjects and studies. Furthermore, before we start modeling our behavior after our jungle-cousins, consider this: as someone who has personally observed our relatives-in-order in the African bush picking feces out of one another's butt-holes, I feel confident in stating that chimps and the like clearly possess sub-human cognitive abilities. As such, I am certain that we humans are more capable individualists based on the mere fact that we use Charmin.
The second story was about the newly-formed (Conservative and Social Democrat) coalition government in Germany and that government's likelihood of implementing economic reforms. The NPR reporter insisted that although the reforms are vitally important to Germany [read in, Germany's collective future], the promises of de-regulation, tax-cuts and social welfare roll-backs are, "unlikely to occur if they hit voter's pocketbooks." Must I ask, why the initial appeal to Germany's well-being? Why is this guy's first instinct to assert the collectivist good of an entity? Are you really so afraid to invoke individual freedom and liberty? That entity you cite is made up free individuals that are inherently entitled to those reforms because they are individuals. C'mon, man. I suppose it was hard enough to admit that free market policies work? I should never expect him to admit why.
Anyway, who needs coffee when you can just listen to these hucksters in the morn?